Одамзод бу дунёга айланиш учун келади

Маълумки, ҳеч ким, ҳатто манаман деган академик олим ҳам ҳеч қачон оддий халқдан донишимандроқ бўлолмайди.

Исбот учун халқ оғзаки ижодини олиб кўрайлик. Халқ оғзаки ижоди намуналарига басталанган шундай қўшиқлар борки, уларни анча мунча шоир ёзолмайди.

Ўзбек халқ мақоллари эса, минг  - минг йиллар элагида қолган олмос доналар, ота буваларимиздан мерос бебаҳо ҳазиналардир.

Бу мақоллар шуниси билан азизки, улар бизнинг миллий зехниятимиз билан чамбарчас боғлиқ, турмуш тарзимизга, урф -одат ва маданиятимизга уйғун.

Халқимизнинг оддий "Айланиб кетай сандан" деган гапининг ўзиёқ, доимий айланиб турадиган коинот билан, космик туманликлар ҳаракати билан боғлиқ экани ҳақида ҳеч ўйлаб кўрганмисиз?

Буни қарангки, одамзод ихлос билан бетоб фарзанди атрофида айланса, хасталик ўзига ўтиб, боласи соғайиб кетар экан.

Сўфийларнинг гир айланиб зикр тушишлари ҳам айнан коинотнинг айланма ҳаракати билан боғлиқ.

Ҳа, олам айланади.

Бугун энди "олам айланмайди" деган одамни осий дея эълон қилиб, гулханда куйдиришлари ҳам ҳеч гапмас.

Гоҳ у шаҳарга, гоҳ бу шаҳарга бориб, айланиб, яна уйига қайтиб келаверадиган, айлана шаклда муттасил ҳаракатланиб, оламлар билан бирга чирпираб, чарх урадиган, тупроқдан бунёд этилган одам яна тупроққа айланаверади.

Оддий, яғир дўппи кийган ўзбекдан: -Ҳа, нима қилиб юрибсан? -дея сўрасангиз, у соддагина қилиб: - Айланиб юрибман -дея жавоб беради.

Ҳа, одамзод бу дунёга айланиш учун келади.

Ё жаннатийга ё дўзахийга.

Менинг энг қойил қоладиган нарсам, ота боболаримиз ҳали ер қуёш атрофида, қуёш системалари эса, яна қайсидир марказ теварагида айланиши тўғрисидаги гипотеза пайдо бўлмаган замонлардаёқ оламни "ЧАРХ", яъни айланиб тургувчи дея атаганлар.

Бунга қадимий шеъриятимиздаги чарх, чархи кажрафтор (терс айланувчи олам) сўзлари далил ва дастак бўла олади.

Кейинчалик маълум бўлдики, олам ростдан ҳам чарх каби айланиб турар экан.

Шу маънода халқимизнинг русларни "Ўрислар" дея аташи ҳам шунчаки айтилмагандай, халқимиз "ўрис" деганда Ўғиз маъносини назарда тутгандай туюлаверади менга.

Ким билади, балки ўрислар ҳам биз каби қадимий Ўғизларнинг авлодларидирлар?

Албатта бу бир гипотеза.

Балки бу ҳақда ҳам чуқурроқ ва жиддийроқ ўйлаб кўриш керакдир?

"Ўзбек" атамаси ҳам менимча Ўғиз беклари деган тушунчадан ташкил топиб, Ўғизбекларга айланиб, ЎҒИЗБЕК тушунчасидан эса, кейинчалик ЎЗБЕК атамаси пайдо бўлганов.

Яна Валлохи аълам.

Менинг бу шахсий фикрларимга ҳайрҳох бўлмаган баъзи кимсалар дарров бу гапларимдан гула кўтаришга шошилмасликлари учун бир ажойиб ўзбек ватандошимиз билан кечган суҳбатимизга тўхталмоқчиман.

Даврада ўзбеклар жуда кўп эди ва улар фалон саркарда ҳам, фалон олим ҳам ўзбек бўлган дея ўзаро бахслашар, тортишар эдилар.

Табиатан камгап, камтарин, аммо ғоят донишманд суҳбатдошим эса, менга секингина: -Одам Ато ҳам ўзбек бўлган экан, ҳаа -деди ва елкаларини силкитиб кула бошлади.

Менинг ҳам кулгим қистади.

Иккаламиз роса кулдик.

Дарҳақиқат, инсон боласи қайси ирққа, қайси миллатга, қайси динга қарашли бўлишидан қатъий назар, аслида бир оиланинг аъзоси, Одам Атонинг зурриёди хисобланади.

Шу маънода нафақат Ўзбекистонимизда мавжуд барча халқлар ва элатлар, балки бутун дунё халқлари миллатидан, динидан, ирқидан қатъий назар бир оила фарзандларидай аҳил иноқ яшашлари керак.

Кимда ким Одам Атонинг Худо тамонидан яратилганини инкор қилса, у одам мусулмон бўладими, насроний бўладими, иудей ё буддавий бўладими, имони шубҳа остида қолади.

Негаки, барча динлар Одам Атонинг Худои Таоло тамонидан яратилгани тўғрисидаги ҳақиқатни инкор этмайди.

Демоқчиманки, агар биз Ўзбекистонликлар жонажон мустақил Ватанимизда доимо тинчлик -омонлик, ҳотиржамлик бўлишини истасак, жамиятда чаёндай овозсиз ўрмалаб, секин аста фашизмни оёқлантирадиган, ўзаро жанжалларга, қонли урушлару қирғин баротларга сабабчи бўладиган ирқчилик, миллатчилик каби жирканч иллатлардан йироқроқ яшашимиз керак.

Ҳазрати Алишер Навоий бу ҳақда фақат дунё ҳалқларига эмас, ҳатто олам аҳлига қарата:

Олам аҳли, билингиз, иш эмас душманлиғ,

Ёр ўлинг бир бирингизғаким, ёрлиғ иш.

дея таълим берганлар.

Энди, Алишер Навоийдан ҳам донишмандман деган кимсалар бўлса, ўзлари билади.

Мен шунчаки айтдим, қўйдим.

23/05/2018.
Кундуз соат 12:28.
Канада, Онтерио.

Xoldor Vulqon

O'zbekiston Yozuvchilar uyushmasining a'zosi

 

Odamzod bu dunyoga aylanish uchun keladi

Ma’lumki, hech kim, hatto manaman degan akademik olim ham hech qachon oddiy xalqdan donishimandroq bo‘lolmaydi.

Isbot uchun xalq og‘zaki ijodini olib ko‘raylik. Xalq og‘zaki ijodi namunalariga bastalangan shunday qo‘shiqlar borki, ularni ancha muncha shoir yozolmaydi.

O‘zbek xalq maqollari esa, ming - ming yillar elagida qolgan olmos donalar, ota buvalarimizdan meros bebaho hazinalardir.

Bu maqollar shunisi bilan azizki, ular bizning milliy zexniyatimiz bilan chambarchas bog‘liq, turmush tarzimizga, urf -odat va madaniyatimizga uyg‘un.

Xalqimizning oddiy "Aylanib ketay sandan" degan gapining o‘ziyoq, doimiy aylanib turadigan koinot bilan, kosmik tumanliklar harakati bilan bog‘liq ekani haqida hech o‘ylab ko‘rganmisiz?

Buni qarangki, odamzod ixlos bilan betob farzandi atrofida aylansa, xastalik o‘ziga o‘tib, bolasi sog‘ayib ketar ekan.

So‘fiylarning gir aylanib zikr tushishlari ham aynan koinotning aylanma harakati bilan bog‘liq.

Ha, olam aylanadi.

Bugun endi "olam aylanmaydi" degan odamni osiy deya e’lon qilib, gulxanda kuydirishlari ham hech gapmas.

Goh u shaharga, goh bu shaharga borib, aylanib, yana uyiga qaytib kelaveradigan, aylana shaklda muttasil harakatlanib, olamlar bilan birga chirpirab, charx uradigan, tuproqdan bunyod etilgan odam yana tuproqqa aylanaveradi.
Oddiy, yag‘ir do‘ppi kiygan o‘zbekdan: -Ha, nima qilib yuribsan? -deya so‘rasangiz, u soddagina qilib: - Aylanib yuribman -deya javob beradi.

Ha, odamzod bu dunyoga aylanish uchun keladi.
Yo jannatiyga yo do‘zaxiyga.

Mening eng qoyil qoladigan narsam, ota bobolarimiz hali yer quyosh atrofida, quyosh sistemalari esa, yana qaysidir markaz tevaragida aylanishi to‘g‘risidagi gipoteza paydo bo‘lmagan zamonlardayoq olamni "ChARX", ya’ni aylanib turguvchi deya ataganlar.

Bunga qadimiy she’riyatimizdagi charx, charxi kajraftor (ters aylanuvchi olam) so‘zlari dalil va dastak bo‘la oladi.

Keyinchalik ma’lum bo‘ldiki, olam rostdan ham charx kabi aylanib turar ekan.

Shu ma’noda xalqimizning ruslarni "O‘rislar" deya atashi ham shunchaki aytilmaganday, xalqimiz "o‘ris" deganda O‘g‘iz ma’nosini nazarda tutganday tuyulaveradi menga.

Kim biladi, balki o‘rislar ham biz kabi qadimiy O‘g‘izlarning avlodlaridirlar?

Albatta bu bir gipoteza.

Balki bu haqda ham chuqurroq va jiddiyroq o‘ylab ko‘rish kerakdir?
"O‘zbek" atamasi ham menimcha O‘g‘iz beklari degan tushunchadan tashkil topib, O‘g‘izbeklarga aylanib, O‘G‘IZBEK tushunchasidan esa, keyinchalik O‘ZBEK atamasi paydo bo‘lganov.
Yana Valloxi a’lam.
Mening bu shaxsiy fikrlarimga hayrhox bo‘lmagan ba’zi kimsalar darrov bu gaplarimdan gula ko‘tarishga shoshilmasliklari uchun bir ajoyib o‘zbek vatandoshimiz bilan kechgan suhbatimizga to‘xtalmoqchiman.

Davrada o‘zbeklar juda ko‘p edi va ular falon sarkarda ham, falon olim ham o‘zbek bo‘lgan deya o‘zaro baxslashar, tortishar edilar.

Tabiatan kamgap, kamtarin, ammo g‘oyat donishmand suhbatdoshim esa, menga sekingina: -Odam Ato ham o‘zbek bo‘lgan ekan, haa -dedi va yelkalarini silkitib kula boshladi.

Mening ham kulgim qistadi.

Ikkalamiz rosa kuldik.

Darhaqiqat, inson bolasi qaysi irqqa, qaysi millatga, qaysi dinga qarashli bo‘lishidan qat’iy nazar, aslida bir oilaning a’zosi, Odam Atoning zurriyodi xisoblanadi.

Shu ma’noda nafaqat O‘zbekistonimizda mavjud barcha xalqlar va elatlar, balki butun dunyo xalqlari millatidan, dinidan, irqidan qat’iy nazar bir oila farzandlariday ahil inoq yashashlari kerak.

Kimda kim Odam Atoning Xudo tamonidan yaratilganini inkor qilsa, u odam musulmon bo‘ladimi, nasroniy bo‘ladimi, iudey yoki buddaviy bo‘ladimi imoni shubha ostida qoladi.

Negaki, barcha dinlar Odam Atoning Xudoi Taolo tamonidan yaratilgani to‘g‘risidagi haqiqatni inkor etmaydi.

Demoqchimanki, agar biz O‘zbekistonliklar jonajon mustaqil Vatanimizda doimo tinchlik -omonlik, hotirjamlik bo‘lishini istasak, jamiyatda chayonday ovozsiz o‘rmalab, sekin asta fashizmni oyoqlantiradigan, o‘zaro janjallarga, qonli urushlaru qirg‘in barotlarga sababchi bo‘ladigan irqchilik, millatchilik kabi jirkanch illatlardan yiroqroq yashashimiz kerak.

Hazrati Alisher Navoiy bu haqda faqat dunyo halqlariga emas, hatto olam ahliga qarata:

Olam ahli, bilingiz, ish emas dushmanlig‘,

Yor o‘ling bir biringizg‘akim, yorlig‘ ish.

deya ta’lim berganlar.

Endi, Alisher Navoiydan ham donishmandman degan kimsalar bo‘lsa, o‘zlari biladi.

Men shunchaki aytdim, qo‘ydim.



23/05/2018.
Kunduz soat 12:28.
Kanada, Onterio.

Шундай улуғ айём кунларда, одамзод ўтиб кетган ўз ота -онасини, яқинларини, дўстларини эслаб, ёд этади, дуолар билан уларнинг руҳларини шод этади.

Бошланғич синфларда ўқиётган пайтимиз бизнинг Неъматжон Дехқонов деган рус тили ўқитувчимиз бўлар эди.Озғин, қотма қорачадан келган, бўйни узун, доимо русларга ўхшаб кепка кийиб юрадиган, кулганда дельфиннинг тишларидай майда тишлари кўриниб турадиган, қувноқ ва беозор домламиз табиатан меҳрибон инсон эдилар.

Унинг бировдан ранжиганини, ёки ўзи биронта одамни ранжитганини эшитмаганман.

Мустақилликнинг илк йиллари, нон деса кесак ғувиллайдиган замонлар.

Бир куни домлани автобусда учратиб қолдим.Кўришдик.Ҳол аҳвол сўрашдик.У бир пақир қирмизи олмаларни олиб, тирикчилик қилиш учун бозорга кетаётган экан.Ўшанда, қийналса ҳам ҳеч кимга шикоят қилмайдиган, ҳамма билан бирдай кулиб гаплашадиган камтарин домлага ич ичимдан раҳмим келган.

Кўп ўтмай эса домланинг бозорда, олма сотаётиб, юраги инфаркт бўлиб, оламдан ўтганларини эшитиб, тошдай қотиб қолганман.

Бугун энди рус тилида 662 та(сараланганлари) шеър, қатор ҳикоялар, бир нечта повесть ва романлар ёзиб, озми кўпми рус аудиториясидан муҳлислар ортдирганимда, ўша менга илк бор рус грамматикасини ўргатган, жаҳон шеъриятига ихлос уйғотган домламиз, азиз инсон Неъматжон ака Дехқоновни бот бот эслайдиган бўлдим.

Илоҳим, домламизнинг жойлари Жаннатдан бўлсин!

22/05/2018.
Кундуз соат 5:40.
Канада, Онтерио.
Рамозони шариф.

Холдор Вулкан

Собир Рахимов

(Светлой памяти нашего учителя русского языка Нигмата Дехкановича)

Наша однаэтажная старая школа,
Огромные тополя и ивы.
Ивы как львы глядели из окна,
Ощетинив зеленые гривы.

Наш учитель русского языка,
Нигмат Дехканович в срок,
Приходил в кепке как русский,
И начинался урок.

-Это волк! - говорил он, указывая,
На рисунок добрым взором.
Мы повторяли то, что он сказал,
Громко, дружным хором.

Я всегда сидел с поднятый рукой,
Даже если клонит ко сну и таю.
Я поднимал руку, чтобы наш домля,
Подумал, что я все знаю.

Он спрашывал только у того,
Кто не поднимает руку.
Дехканович был честным учителем,
И чутко реагировал звуку.

Он сказал: -Нука, Гиясиддинов,
Скажи, "Мы собираем хлопок"!
Гиясиддинов встал и сказал:
-Мы Собир Рахимов хлопок!

Как мы тогда громко захохотали,
Смеялись до слез, Боже.
Самое смешное то, что хихикал,
Гиясиддинов тоже...

Потом мы выросли и разошлись,
Кто в город кто еще куда.
Некоторые отправились в тюрьму,
По приговору суда.

Кто бы подумал тогда, что я,
В далекой Канаде, в тиши,
Напишу на русском языке когда то,
О Нигмата Дехкановича стихи.



05/01/2015.
3:05 дня.
г.Бремптон, Канада.

Холбўри 20 ёшлардаги ўрта бўйли, сочлари қора, аммо кўз қорачиқлари яшил, қирғийбурун, қалин лаблари устида мўйловлари сабза урган рассом йигит.Гарчанд рассомчилик ўқув юртларини тамомламаган эсада, у олийгохни хатм қилган тажрибали рассомлардан сира кам эмас.Холбўри мойбўёқда ҳам, акварельда ҳам бирдай, рангларни кир қилмай, табиат манзараларини қойиллатиб ишлар, биронта гўзал этюд яратиш ишқида кун бўйи жийдалар, юлғунлар ўсиб ётган дарё соҳилида, шамолларда шаршарадай шовуллагувчи толзорларда, каккулар оҳ чекаётган далалар этагида худди ўлжа излаган овчи каби этюднигини елкасига осганича дайдиб юради.Баъзан тонг саҳарда уйғониб, соҳил тамон йўл оларкан, шудрингли бедазор сўқмоқлари аро ғира - шира сўлим субҳи содиқ сукунатида бири қўйиб, бири сайраётган беданалар овозига қулоқ тутганича: - эх беданалар, муздек шудрингларни ичиб, томоқни шамоллатиб қўйибсизларку.Қаранглар, тинмай йўталяпсизлар –дея ўйлайди ва ўзича жилмайиб қўяди.Соҳилга етгач, ёйилиб оқаётган Қорадарёнинг кўзгу каби ялтираган теран ва сокин сувларига термулганича одамлар ҳали донг қотиб ухлаётган, машиналар ва қушлар шовқини тинган тоза ҳаволи сукунатда асабларини созлайди, шу ҳолатда баланд жарликлар узра тик туриб тонгни қарши олади.
Тонги қоронғуликда, узоқ узоқларда хўрозлар қичқиришга тушаркан, уларнинг ўткир ва ўктам овозлари олмос ойнакесгич каби тонгнинг мусаффо кўзгусини кесиб юборгандай таасурот қолдиради.
Кейин эса осмон этаклари оҳиста оқаришиб, рангпар парқу булутлар дақиқалар ўтган сайин оч сариқ тусга кирганича, бора бора уфқ ранги йўлбарс терисидай кўриниш касб этади.Бу илоҳий манзарани жимгина кузатиш Холбўрининг энг севимли машғулотларидан бири.
Кўп ўтмай тонги сокинлик, теварак - жавониб қушлар сайроғидан жаранглай бошлайди.Қушлар сайроғи урилган тонг жимлиги тоғ ўнгирлари каби акс садо қайтараркан, кўп ўтмай далалар этагидан кўзни қамаштиргувчи баҳайбат қуёш кўтарилади ва тўрғайлар шўх -шодон чийиллаб, тонги далалар устида муаллақ сайрай бошлайдилар.
Далалар узра сайраётган тўрғайлар тонги оппоқ булутларга кўринмас иплар билан осиб қўйилган қўнғироқчалардай жарангдор товушлари билан одамзод юрагини қувончга, шодликка тўлдириб тоширади.
Ҳозир "Қовункапа" қишлоғида куз кезиб юрибди.Ўтлоқларда ўт -ўланлар қувраб, қовжираб, қўнғир -қизғиш ранга кирган, пахтазорлар чаман бўлиб очилган пахталардан қордай оқариб ётибди.Далалар четидаги тут дарахтларининг, толзордаги қари бужур, букри тол ва азим адл теракларнинг барглари қахрабодай сарғайиб, махзун пичирлаб, тўкиларкан, кузнинг ўйчан шамолларида чирпираб учиб, заъфарон капалаклар галаси сингари енгил, оҳиста оҳиста ерларга қўнар, суви қуриб қолган ариқларнинг ўзанига, дарахтларнинг ўйчан соялари акс этган кўзгудай тиниқ анхор сувларига ёғилар, йўллар ва сўқмоқлар гўё сариқ ва қирмизи хазон кўрпасига ўраниб ухлаётгандай.Ҳадемай далалар қуюқ кимсасиз сокин туманлар билан қопланади.Холбўри совуқ куз кечалари чироғи ўчирилган хонасида ётаркан, тунги далаларда, туманлар қаърида наъра тортиб ер шудгорлаётган ёлғиз тракторнинг ҳасратли товушига қулоқ тутганича то кўзларига уйқу илингунга қадар хаёл суриб ётади.Оҳ, бу далаларни қишда кўрсангиз эди!Чирпираб айланиб, рақс тушаётган қорқуюнга термулиб, қорли далаларнинг яйдоқ кенгликларида бўғзигача қорга ботган чўкиртакларнинг, қамишларнинг совуқ изғиринда аччиқ изиллаган, ғувиллаган товушларига қулоқ тутсангиз эди.Ромга таранг тортилган мато каби оппоқ қордан тундрадай оқарган теварак атрофнинг кундуз каби ёп -ёруғлигини, машиналар шовқини тинган қорли сукунатда далалар кимсасизлигини тасаввур қилиб, лаззатланмоқ, ҳузурланмоқ бахти ҳар кимга ҳам насиб этавермас? Ҳа, ҳозир бу ерларда куз ҳукмрон. Холбўри бундай паллалар уйда ўтиролмайди.У уч оёқли этюднигини дала четига ўрнатиб олиб, қахрабо ҳазонлар ёғилаётган теракзорлар, соҳилдаги толзорлару илонизи сўқмоқлар, кузги кимсасиз дала йўлларини матога мойбўёқда акс этдириш билан банд.Ҳаво очиқ бўлгани учун узоқдаги уфқларга туташ пахта далалари ортида Тянь -Шань тоғ тизмаларининг қорли чўққилари аниқ кўриниб турар, пахтазорда одамлар эгатлар оралаб энкайганларича пахта териб юрардилар.Холбўри пахтазорлар устидан гувиллаб учаётган чуғурчуқларнинг безовта галаларига термулганича қўлидаги мўйқалам бўёғини латтага артиб, бир зум осмонларга термулиб қолди.Чуғурчуқлар галаси ҳавода парвозини тез тез ўзгартириб, дарё соҳилидаги бошоқлари олтиндай товланиб пишган шолизорлар тамон учардилар.Бу кузги чуғурчиқ ва чумчуқларнинг улкан галалари узоқдан шамол ипларини узиб қаёқларгадир учириб бораётган парашютларга ўхшайди.Холбўри яна этюд ишлашда давом этди.У шу қадар берилиб ишлардики, ҳатто шаҳарлик хашарчи қизнинг шундоқ ёнида туриб, яратилаётган гўзал картина эскизига ҳайрат билан тикилиб турганини ҳам сезмасди. Агар этюдга масофадан назар ташлаш мақсадида ортига тисарилмаса ва қизга урилиб кетмаса, у ҳамон ҳайратдан донг қотган биринчи тамошабиннинг келганини ҳам сезмай ишлайверган бўларди.

-Э, ахир одам деган сал йўталиб нетиб келадида.Юракни ёрай дедингизку, оппоқ қиз -деди Холбўри жўрттага жиддийлашиб.

-Кечиринг, рассом ака.Чизаётган картинангизга хушим кетиб... -деди қиз, айбдорларча бош эгиб, гоҳ рассом йигитга, гоҳ этюдникка ер остидан ўғринча назар ташлаганича, уялиб.

-Ҳечқиси йўқ, оппоқ қиз, хазиллашдим.Ҳавотир олманг, ҳаммаси жойида.Юрагим ёрилгани йўқ.Ишонмасангиз кўксимга қулоқ солиб, юрагим ураётганига ишонч ҳосил қилишингиз мумкин -деди Холбўри самимий жилмайиб.

-Товбаааа, сиз рассом экансизда а? Далаларни, дарахтларни, тоғларни худди ўзига ўхшатиб қўйибсиз.Қандай ажойиб! -деди қиз ҳамон ҳайратини яширолмай, ҳаяжон ичра.

-Чизаётган этюдим сиздай соҳибжамол қизга ёққани учун ўзимни худди асари Париждаги Лувр музейидан ўғирлаб кетилган бахтли рассомдай ҳис қилаяпман -деб қўйди Холбўри ишлашда давом этиб.Кейин қизга ярим ўгриларкан: -Менинг исмим Холбўри - деди ўзини таништириб.

-Менинг исмим Илтижо деди қиз уялибгина.

-Исмингиз ҳам ўзингизга ўхшаб ғоят чиройли экан.Агар камондай қайрилма қошларингиз бўлмаса, худди машҳур италян рассоми Леонардо да Винчи чизган портретдаги Монна Лизага ўхшаркансиз.Сиз билан танишганимдан хурсандман -деди Холбўри.

-Мен ҳам -деб қўйди қиз, ҳамон этюдникдан кўзларини узолмай.

-Сизни авваллари ҳеч учратмаган эканман.Кўринишингиздан шаҳарлик қизларга ўхшайсиз.Бу ёқларда нима қилиб юрибсиз дайдиб? Ё қариндошларингизникига меҳмонга келдингизми? -сўради Холбўри, мўйқаламдаги бўёқни латтага хафсала билан артиб.

-Мен тиббиёт институтининг 3 босқич талабасиман.Курсимиз билан пахта йиғим теримига кўмаклашиш учун келдик.Биз ёрдамчи хашарчилармиз - тушунтирди қиз.

-Тушунарли -деб қўйди Холбўри.Кейин яна ишга киришаркан, давом этди:

-Эшитишимча бошига қоп кийган махсус жаллодлар пахта териш нормасини бажармаган талабаларни карнай - сурнай ва ноғораи калон садолари остида дала шийпонининг пешхорисига намоишкорона осиб қатл қилармишлар, шу ростми? -деди у.

Бу гапларни эшитиб, қиз бўйнидаги харир рўмоли билан оғзини тўсганича нозик елкаларини силкитиб астойдил кула бошлади.

Кейин: -Товба, сизни рассом десам, қизиқчи ҳам экансизда а? Ҳеч жаҳонда пахта териш нормасини бажармаган талабани ҳам дорга осадиларми? -деди у кулишда давом этаркан.

-Энди, йигит кишига етмиш хунар оз дейишадику машойихлар.Хар тўкисда бир айб деганларидай, шунақа ҳазил мазах деса томдан ташлайдиган қизиқчилик одатим бор.Зерикмай ҳазиллашиб турайлик дедим –да, оппоқ қиз. Лекин, керак бўлса, пахта теришда сизга ёрдамлашишдан ҳам тоймайман.Ёрдамчиларга ҳам ёрдам керак ахир.Медицина тили билан айтсак, "тез ёрдам" -деди Холбўри.

-Э, Худо сақласин. Ҳеч бандани тез ёрдамга мухтож бўлгулик қилмасин -деди қиз.

-Яхши. Унда тез эмас, сал секинроқ ёрдамлашаман - деди Холбўри илжайиб.

Қиз яна кулди. Кейин худди муҳим бир нарса ёдига тушгандай ялт этиб йигитга қараркан: -Кечирасиз, Холбўри ака, сиз одамнинг суратини ҳам чизасизми? Бизнинг шаҳарда рассомлар хиёбонларда ўтириб олиб, ўтган - кетган одамларнинг суратини чизиб беришади.Мен ҳеч суратимни чиздирмаганман.Агар сиз чизиб берсангиз, портретимни дугоналаримга кўрсатиб, мақтаниб юрардим - деди Илтижо.

-Яхши - деди Холбўри ва мато қопланган ромлардан бирини олиб, этюдникка махкамларкан, қизга қилт этмай кулиб туришни буюрди.

-Аввал кўмир билан қоралама қиламиз, кейин... деди у қизнинг дўндиққина оппоқ юзларига, шахло кўзларига, ғунчадек лабларию, оққушникидай силлиқ бўйинларига бир зум ўйчан термулиб.

Холбўри чизишни бошлаши билан қиз лунжларини шишириб, кутилмаганда кулиб юборди.

-Ие, кулмангда.Ахир қилт этмай ўтиринг дедимку сизга -деди Холбўри, гоҳ қизга қараб, гоҳ ромматога кўз югиртириб, бадиий кўмир билан тез тез қоралама қиларкан.

-Кулгим қистаб кетяптида -деди Илтижо яна қайта жиддийлашишга тиришиб.

Холбўри бир зум чизишдан тўхтаркан, битта оппоқ бўлиб очилган пахта чаноғини банди билан узиб, қизнинг қуюқ ва майин сочларига, чаккасига қистириб қўйди.Сўнг яна ишга шўнғиди.

Илтижо қилт этмай ўтирсада, ҳамон кўз қири билан этюдникка қараб турар, суратининг қай йўсинда чизилаётганини билгиси, матодаги тасвирга қарагиси келарди.

-Яхшилаб чизяпсизми? Яна карикатурамни чизиб қўйманг! -деди у. Сўнг сабрсизланиб: - Ҳали узоқ ўтиришим керакми? Бўйним толиб кетдику -деди.

-Ҳечқиси йўқ, сабр қилинг. Кечаси бўйнингизга тахта боғлаб ётсангиз, эрталабгача дардингиз мусаффо бўлиб кетади, Худо ҳохласа - деди Холбўри.

Қиличбек Қоплонович қизи Илтижога тўйдан бир неча кун аввал шундай деб насихат қилган эди.

-Қизим, биз сени ҳеч нарсадан кам қилмай, авайлаб ўстирдик.Сен бизнинг ёлғиз, эрка фарзандимиз, кўрар кўзимизнинг нури, оқу қаросисан.Мана, вояга етиб, катта ҳаётга қадам қўйяпсан.Ўзинга муносиб, Ашрапилло деган ўқимишли, маданиятли, тадбиркор куёвни топдик.Илоё қўшганинг билан қўша қари.Ўзларингдан кўпайиб, бахтли бўлинглар.Лекин қизим бу ҳаёт деганлари жуда мураккаб жараён.У дунёда оловли лава булкиллаб қайнаб турган жаҳаннам жарлиги узра тортилган пулсирот бор деб эски китобларда келади.Билсанг, ўша қилдан ингичка, қиличдан ҳам ўткир пулсирот бу дунёнинг ўзида ҳам бор.Тубсиз ҳалокат жарлари устига қурилган, туғилишдан ўлимгача таранг тортилган бу сиротнинг номи ҳаётдир!Кимки нозик кўприкдан ўтаётиб, нотўғри қадам ташласа, ўша тубсиз ҳалокат жарлигига қулайди.Ҳам жисмонан, ҳам маънавий ҳалок бўлади.Жисмоний ҳалокат оқибатида киши нари борса, жони узилиб, оламдан ўтар.Лекин маънавий ҳалокатга йўлиқса, қалби ўлса, у абадий азоб уқубатларга маҳкум бўлади!Чунки жисм муваққат, руҳ билан қалб эса абадийдир!Бу дунёни бевафо ёлғончи дея хақоратлаш ҳам гунох!Негаки одам боласи у дунёдаги мангу ҳузур -ҳаловатни ҳам, абадий жаҳаннам азобини ҳам шу дунёда, ўзи ҳали ўлмай туриб топади, тайёрлаб қўяди.Шунинг учун бизнинг бу дунёда фақат тўғри юришдан бошқа йўлимиз йўқ.Тўғри йўлдан адашма, қизим.Борган жойингда тиниб, тинчи.Қайнона, қайнотангни ҳурмат қил!Куёвингнинг измидан чиқма.Уларга гап қайтарма.Сендан илтимосим, агар бизни рози бўлсин десанг, у оиладан бу уйга гап кўтариб келма.Чунки “деди деди” сўзлари билан оилалар вайрон бўлади.Қуда андалар ўртасига совуқлик тушади.Сенинг энг ашаддий душманинг ҳам, энг яқин дўстинг ҳам ўз тилинг.Тилга ҳушёр бўл, болам.Ёмон гаплардан, ғийбатлардан тийилиб, одамлар ҳақида фақат яхши гапларнигина гапиришни ўрган.Жон бор жойда жанжал бор дейдилар.Ҳатто подшоларнинг уйида ҳам ўзаро тушинмовчиликлар, муаммолар, оилавий можаролар бўлиб туради.Бу табиий.Ҳамма гап ўша юз бериши мумкин бўлган жанжалнинг олдини олишда, муаммоларни қизишмай, яхши гаплар билан ҳал қила билишда, муросаи мадора билан оила мувозанатини сақлаб қолишда.Жамият тинч –тотувлигини, одамлар ва халқларнинг ўзаро аҳиллигини аввало жамиятнинг энг кичик ячейкаси ва модели бўлмиш оиладан бошлаш керак, оилада аввал тартиб -интизомни ўрнатиш ва уни мустахкамлаш керак.Бу шунчаки чиройли гаплар эмас, бу ҳикмат!Мен шу пайтгача бировга насихат қилмаган эдим.Бугун сенга насихат қилмоқдаман.Чунки сен менинг жигарбандимсан.Шу гапларимни доимо ёдингда тут –деди у.Дадасининг ўша гапларини ёдида сақлагани учун ҳам Илтижо эрининг ва қайнонасининг зулмларига чидаб, тош тишлаб яшайди.Табиатан ўта жиззаки ва инжиқ қайнонаси ҳар куни нимадандир камчилик топиб, тўхтовсиз жағиллайверади, йиғлаб, қарғаб, Илтижонинг жисму жонини эговлайди.

-Э, картошканинг пўчоғини ҳам шунча қалин арчадими одам?!Кеча сиз арчган пиёз пўчоғини қайта ажратиб, бир паловга етгулик пиёз паррак йиғиб қўйдим!Ашрапилло болам бечоранинг қийналиб топганини бундай ҳавога совуриб, исроф қилаверсангиз, эртага бори буддимиздан айрилиб кафангадо бўламизку!Э, Худо!Шунақаям келин учрайдими бизга!Бою босомон, амалдор одамнинг қизи деб алданиб, қаёқдан ҳам шу сиртини силаган, молфахм қизни келин қилдима!Вой пешонам қурсин манинг, пешонам қурсииин!Ҳа, аттанга!Аттаааанг!Менинг ўғлимга кимлар қизини бермасди!Бу жодугар ўлгур онаси билан бахши пархон қилиб югириб, сеҳру жоду қилиб, охири ўғлимниям мендан совутди.Боламнинг бурнидан ип ўтказиб олди, жувонмарг.Биламан, биттани бекорга туққани йўқ бу писмиқ!Боламнинг бошини айлантириб, бор бойлигини ўзига хатлатиб, охири ўғлим иккаламизни кўчага хайдамаса гўрга эди!Э, ҳамма айб ота онада! Уйда боласига тарбия бермаса қийин эканда!Унақа одамларнинг бойлиги, гариллагани итнинг кетига!Бу яшшамагур кечаси нима билан шуғилланади билмайман, қачон қарасанг ухлагани ухлаган!Оламни сув босса, тўпиғига чиқмайди!Ҳа, келин деган саҳарда туриб, ховлини, кўчани ёғ тушса ялагундай қилиб супуриб қўймайдими!Онаси супурги ушлашни ҳам ўргатмаган эканда!Ҳамма ёқни чангитиб, шатиллатиб супириб, сотиб олганимизга ҳали бир йил ҳам бўлмаган ойим супургини асфальтга ишқаб, ейилтириб, адойи тамом қилибдия! Э бу келинмас, бизнинг оиламизни хонавайрон қилиш учун келган ёвуз душман экан! Шу зодинга ўт тушкур шумқадам келдию оиламиздан барака кўтарилди!Вой, менинг ўғлимга кимлар қизини бермас эдия!Бундай шошилмай, ҳокимлар, банкирлар ва бошқа казо казолар билан қуда анда тутинсам бўлмасмиди?! Хапгина сани!Қараб тургин!Яқинда думингни тугиб, ўғлим Ашрапиллога онаси ўпмаган 15 яшар қизни олиб бераман, рашкдан куйиб, жизғанак бўлиб, тўппа тўғри жаҳаннамга равона бўласан!-дея тинимсиз жаврайди у.

Бир гал ҳатто ўғли Ашрапиллога: -Сен сўтак, эр эмас, латта экансан, латта!Бўш қўйсанг бу жувонмарг эртага бошинги чиқиб олади!Эркак деганнинг сал қамчисидан қон томиб туриши керак!Хотинини итоатда ушлаб туриш учун уни ҳеч йўқ бир кунда беш ўн дарра уриб туриш керак!Э, ётқизволиб қорнига тепмайсанми?!Ҳе, ўғил бўлмай ўл, хайвон!Хотининг мени урсаям қараб тураверасанми?! –дея йиғлаган эди, ғазабдан Ашрапиллонинг тепа сочи тикка бўлиб, кўзлари қонга тўлди ва шахд билан Илтижога юзланди.

-Нима?!Вой харомией!Сен ҳали онамга қўл кўтарадиган бўлдингми?!Мени туғиб, дунёга келтирган, ўзи емай едириб, киймай кийдириб улғайтирган меҳрибонимга, муқаддас Каъбамгая?!Вой онагинангни осма кўприкка осиб... сука!Мен онамнинг олдида сендақаларнинг миллионтасидан кечиб қўяман! Хотин йўлда, фарзанд белда, онам эса битта! -дея Ашрапилло Илтижога ташланди ва уни уриб, ерга йиқитиб, дуч келган жойига дод дегизиб тепаверди.Илтижо зорланиб: -Ашрапилло ака!Мен онангизни урганим йўқ!Бу тухмат!Худо ҳаққи урганим йўқ!Менинг бу бақувват аёлга кучим ҳам етмайди!Етган тақдирда ҳам ўз онамни ураманми?!Наҳотки мени шундай пасткаш деб ўйласангиз?!Мен ахир, онажонни сиздан ҳам қаттиқроқ ҳурмат қилман!Ишонинг! –деса ҳам, ялиниб ёлборса ҳам тўхтамади.У бечора Илтижони чарчагунича дўппослади.

-Қанақа тухмат, а, қанақа тухмат!Вей, беш вақт номоз ўқийдиган, рўза тутадиган менинг иймон эътиқодли онажоним сочлари оқарганда ёлғон гапирадиларми?Ҳозир талоқ паттангни қўлинга тутқазайми а?!Қумталоқ қўйиб ташлайми?!Вой аблах ношукур, нонкўўўўр!Еганинг олдингда, емаганинг кетингда бўлса, сенга яна нима етишмаяпти а?! -дея бақирарди у ҳамон Илтижони тепкилаб.

-Урса дедим, ахмоқ! Ургани йўқ ҳали! Қўл тегизиб кўрсинчи, ўзим уни уриб, оёқ қўлларини синдириб ташлайман! –деди Илтижонинг қайнаси.

Шундан кейингина Ашрапилло уришдан тўхтади.

Бу инсоннинг юрак кўзгуси,

Чил - чил синган, бўлмайди бутлаб.

Дўстим, унга қўл чўзиб, ҳеч йўқ,

Байрам билан қўйсангчи қутлаб.

Мискарнайлар бўғзидаги "Вальс",

Садолари ўйнар ҳавода.

Қаҳрамоннинг сийрак сочларин,

Тортқилайди тонги шаббода.

Шу кунларда ёлғиз қолган у,

Йўқдир бунда тенгдоши, тенги.

Узоқларга термулар, қўлсиз,

Хилпирайди шамолда енги.

15 август, 2010 йил.

Тонг. Торонто шаҳри, Канада.

Holder Volcano

Member of the Uzbek Union of Writers

Дурадгор ёғоч, тахта ҳақида, дехқон сабзавот ё пахта ҳақида, чорвадор сигир қўй ҳақида, учувчи осмон тўғрисида, спортчи эса спорт ҳақида доимий ўйлагани ва гапиргани каби, ким нима ҳақида кўп гапирса ва ўйласа билингки, у кимса айнан ўша иш билан мунтазам шуғилланади.

Холдор Вулқон

Trap

(The story)

Stooped in envious vile and treacherous sorcerer Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar like an evil Penguin and he lives on the outskirts of the abandoned farm in a dilapidated empty chicken coop.The people of this farm have long gone in big and small cities, closer to civilized people to live humanly. Collapsed huts overgrown with weeds and sagebrush in the middle of the collapsed clay walls of ghostly white under the shining moon. In the cracks of clay walls singing crickets, stunning the quiet deserted night and Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar it seems that the singing of these crickets reaches to the heavens and their voices ringing dusk and the stars tremble like the tears on the eyelashes.The impression is that from barking stray dogs are the stars here that are falling down from the empty sky.Yes, justifying the concern Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar sleepy and tired stars fall from the heavens into the grass into the bushes on the cobwebs shining bijouterie evening dew, and the empty sky.The crickets are silent. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar not a poet.He only deals with translations of European, American, Canadian and Japanese poets in the night, till morning, looking her female face in the red light of a kerosene lamp in their coop and the weird, that he publishes these translations without any shame and embarrassment in local Newspapers and magazines not as translations, but as his works.He used to receive fabulous fees for published base translations produced in the form of books - copies.He got rich and even bought a car on the modification of "Volga".

Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar worked for many years at the same company, tricking all of his colleagues together with superiors at every step, in different ways.
Once the Goverment have allocated from the state budget a huge amount of money in order to re-equip the institution, modern technology of the new model. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar his old habit immediately developed a cunning plan of stealing and bought old technology in the bushes at the flea market almost for nothing and 99 percent of the transferred money to the new technology quickly cashed it, and pocketed them.

But has arisen discontent and disagreements between his accomplices.Then this discontent turned into a scandal. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar had close links with some officials in the upper chairmen - bribe takers, who secretly received bribes and covered their ass on the huge openings of the laws of the country, defending their despicable so-called "Peshents" like Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar from procuratory.But it turns out his cronies accomplices have additional leverage, that is the secret racketeers.So they came one night to Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar and forced him to give up all that he robbed the state, and bade him live in an abandoned farm one, but still in the coop, unless of course he still wants to live in this world.He was also assigned to cluck every morning like a cock, so, they can hear from far away. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar gladly agreed to this, thinking that he got off easy.

Since then, Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar lives on the outskirts of town in an abandoned chicken coop, clearly following the instructions of their supervisors each morning and crows loudly, extended his neck forward.Gradually, this activity became his habit.He waking up at dawn, unwittingly begins to crack. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar forced to changed their menu and became vegetarian.He eats not as much as before, cooked rice in sesame oil with Deer meat and quail eggs for Breakfast.Now he is satisfied mainly with the roots of trees. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar eat them with closed eyes from pleasure as Beavers while dining at the forest river. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar goes on the hunt for a roots night, when all people sleep and digs the ground with their hands like a dog, uprooting the juicy roots of the trees and eating them with a wild appetite.Sometimes he laughs silently, shaking his whole body, thinking about naive people who wonder, seeing dry trees in the gardens, on the edges of cotton fields, on the banks drying up of the Aral sea and over deep ravines, and not realizing that the roots of these trees don't eat worms or gophers, namely an empty Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Salaqulpanat Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar.He still suffers from hemorrhoids and inguinal hernia. These diseases greatly hinder him when he habitually wakes up at dawn and crows all forces.When his guts go beyond the abdominal cavity of the groin, he inhales them back into his gut by hand, moaning from unbearable pain and blushing like an angry Turkey.
One farmer(naive too) seeing his sheepskin coat weight in down feathers of chickens, said Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar similar to shoot the angel from which scattered the feathers.
Oh, how Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar laughed, hearing these words of the foolish farmer, as I laughed, shook, like a penguin!I almost burst out laughing, his hernia is like a bubble that forms during a rain storm.What a fool! How did he know?! Yes, Yes, Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar angel. But it is not easy.
He's fallen angel!

He sometimes whispers with a sigh, looking to the clouds that sail in heaven: -Oh how pretty they are! Their skin is like a bloated balloon, like a frog that sits at night under the moon in a pond on a Lily pad and sings selflessly, looking at the starry sky.The clouds are silent, meaning they don't grumble like my wife and if I marry one of those clouds, then I think it will never ask for or demand of me gold jewelry or clothing and that's fine!Oh, what are those white clouds firm Breasts mmmmm! - think Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar , looking into the clouds that resemble naked women as in the paintings of the ancient artists italian product Renaissance. But Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar immediately changed his mind after seeing a cloud shaped like a huge sexual organ of a donkey.Then he starts crying in his women's holy handkerchief, shaking the whole body and thinking that people underestimate his multifaceted talent that he has wasted.

Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar's talent is that he will build an Empire without soldiers, without a single soldier, with no weapons of mass destruction, without the drones, and the only one with feminine sweet look.It's enough that he had something. For example, he looked at the field, all assume that the field has become his possession.Looked at grape vinyards and peach orchards, they automatically become his property.Homeland too. Although he now lives in the hen house, but in the near future he intends to seize the lands of neighboring countries with his greedy and magical look.And then the whole planet with endless space.And there's other possessions of God, Paradise and so forth. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar is such a talented man, but lives in squalor in the coop.A paradox, isn't it? Nothing. To be an outcast in society is the destiny of the great wise hermit -think of it as something cheers himself. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar last year in the winter firmly convinced that words have magical powers. In those days, the snow fell so much that the ruins of an abandoned farm disappeared under thick snowdrifts. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar miraculously escaped death, thanks to an old lonely mighty maple that grew covering his chicken coop, the roots of which it feeds.Thanks to the maple chicken coop Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar survived during the hurricane and snow drill .When Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar was out on the red tunnel dug out from snowdrifts, frightened Marauder almost crapped his pants from fear and almost shot him, thinking that he is out of the den, some humanoid beast unknown to science.

- Can I answer that?! - said Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Salaqulpanat Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar, ahead of marauders, who were going to ask him a question, like who is he and what is he doing here in the middle of winter. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar marauder froze for a moment and quickly left, leaving him alone. Here's the magical power of words!

Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar sometimes it seems that it is a turbulent time between the two shores of good and evil and he can't stop even for a moment, at least grasping the branches of trees that grow wild on the gentle banks.This river is mad and she sometimes comes out of its banks, flooding Ganguly and fields, forming boundless floods, where over the surface of the mirrored waters freeze the trees in the background was bloody wicked sunsets to the waist in water, looking at his shadow with vultures on the branches. Shady trees are very similar, like twins, as the double Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar not in the mirror spill. Recently, night Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar heard a rustle and tensed, thinking that someone is going into the chicken coop.But he is in the light of the moon he saw a hedgehog with a raspberry nose which ran it's little legs through the ruins of Adobe walls, in search of goods. Finally it got lucky and caught the green grasshopper. Then it started eating it with a big appetite, shaking its cute little mouth.The night was so quiet that you could hear even the crunch of a grasshopper, which became a potential victim of a hungry hedgehog. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar knew that the meat of a hedgehog could heal hernia.Readers are well aware of, Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar tormented by an old inguinal hernia with the size of the head of an adult.So he decided to catch a hedgehog and be treated with folk remedies in the field.He took a shovel and ran for a hedgehog.In the light of the shining moon, his shadow lengthened like a shadow of the sinner at Plame hell.Seeing his shadow, Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar was scared.But free medicine and the desire to be treated with folk medicine still won the fear.In order not to miss the hedgehog Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar ran with all his might and caught up with the little fugitive.

-Where do you go, little boar with needle wool!You can't escape death!I'll cook you a delicious borscht, which treats me inguinal hernia and hemorrhoids! -shouted Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar and to cut off the head of a hedgehog he swung the shovel hard and the shovel broke. A hedgehog in this time has successfully manuvered and disappeared in ruins. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar returned to his close the coop and going with difficulty through the doorway, thought, secretly envied real poets and writers of the giants, whom did not fit into their vast homeland. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar couldn't sleep on an empty stomach.He went hunting in the middle of the night for the juicy roots of the trees.But root around to find it was not possible as all the trees have withered because they had no roots, which Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Salaqulpanat Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar ate.He walked with the basket in his hands to the side of the ravines, crossing a field under the starry night sky.The road was covered by the moon. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar marched in silence, dragging from fatigue and hunger and rhythmically rustling of his pants, which he wove layered paper bag found in the barn of the collective farm.It, to make it easier to walk, he decided to go on rails.Hungry and humpbacked sorcerer Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar was walking on the tracks, like endless stairs to nowhere and he suddenly had his feet stuck between the rails. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar howled in unbearable pain, looking at the starry sky, showing arteries in his neck, like a werewolf who got into a silver trap.Despite the pain Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar tried to pull his leg, but couldn't.In the light of the moon he saw the blood that oozed from his feet.The worst thing was that he got into a terrible trap, which it was impossible to open or to drag him along, to somewhere in a repair shop and ask for help.This trap was the heaviest and biggest steel trap in the world. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar knew that this steel is expensive trains and high speed.

-What a fool I am! What an idiot I am! Well, why was I on that infernal railway, why?! All, now I think the teahouse, I'm basically dead.The train is coming soon... Oh, my God.!What have I done to you?! Well, I cheated a little people and robbed people's money in colossal sizes from the state budget and bought a mansion! But you punished me once, driving to the hen-house located in ruins of the thrown farm where I still live one, eating roots of trees! How can so terrible and severely punish a man for stuff?! Oh, it hurts me terribly!Help me, God, before the trains come and hit me!Help me, I will not rust, I assure you! Free me and I will pray to you every day, every hour, every minute, every second, I swear! -he shouted, looking at the moonlit sky where the stars quietly, nonchalantly and indifferently shined its rays on the white sharpener of the moon. God or may not have heard the cry of Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar felt didn't want to help him.

It was silent, a terrible silence.

-Oh Lord! If you don't help me, freeing my leg from that stupid giant steel trap, I will go into opposition, that is sell my soul to your eternal rival, Devil, hear!I will join atheists - Communists, heretics, warlocks and I will fight against you until the end of the life!-shouted Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar in despair.

Then he fervently asked for help from the devil, too: -the Devil, and the devil! You hear me?! I know you can hear and see it all, but you're watching it all silently. Seen, God is not helping me.Would you please help me, I'll bring the Beers!

Free me from this trap and I will serve you all my life, deceiving the slaves of your eternal rival-God and day and night will Rob people's money in colossal sizes in various ways, sending them to foreign offshore accounts!I will provoke soldiers between Muslims and Christians, maja Jews and Buddhists so that these naive believers exterminate each other, leaving the infidels, that is us!I'll set fire to mosques! Blow up temples and synagogues! Trust me, the devil help meeee! - he asked for help from the Devil. But the devil was silent too. Even the devil did not trust Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar and didn't want to give him bony and hairy helping hands.And time went by and unbearable pain in the leg Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar increased. His leg was swollen from the size of telephone poles, and blackened. Threatened gangrene and amputation. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar cried from the pain and hopelessness, making a face.

-Yeah, atheists communists were right! It turns out neither God nor the devil exists in this world! I'm better off asking for help from kind simple and naive people.Naive people will give me real help, I know that... I know... and I'm one hundred percent sure... thought Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar and started screaming at the top of his lungs.

-People, help! I'm stuck on the railing. Well, who is out there! - he shouted with a voice of a wild man. But, to the settlement was far. No one has responded to his cries for help. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar crying in his women's holy handkerchief, moaning, trying to pull his foot from the rails, but it did not work.

And there, in the booth of points man of Railway, where the light was on, symphonic music sounded, the switchman sat there with his mistress, drinking vodka and passionately kissing her in soft lips instead of snacks.

-Let's get undressed, darling, better go to bed on the sofa. And then a chair is not convenient as it is to love-said the switchman, hastily throwing off their clothes.

- No, not now, darling. I don't want your Manager interrupted again our lesson on sweet and passionate. We take the train and then... - said the points man lover.

Yeah, don't you worry, my beauty, I already met the request of the Manager, and switched the railway and let go train yourself ... Come on, take off all your clothes and quickly lay down on the sofa, my fragrant marvelous rose - the points man said, hurrying his mistress to undress.

- Tsss , you hear somebody shouts about the help of far -said the mistress of the world, listening to the silence of the night.

- No, no, you're my incomparable mistress. It's probably the distant trains. Oh, how I love the sleepy cries of the midnight train! To be honest, I became a switch man for this romance. Sitting in the booth, at dusk and looking through the window at the shining moon and countless blue and red stars, Samara delighted in divine magic silence. And there, in the distance beyond the river and over the hills hear the sad echoes of the night trains. Trains go crying away like a sad caravan of cranes of the autumn, as the years that are fading, into eternity, as our friends, who passed away.Hearing their honks sometimes I silently cry -said the switchman, looking at the freckled sky shining on the moon, blunted his brooding eyes.

- Yeah, you talk like great writers and poets. I'm happy! I thank God for finding you. Only these days I started to live in the present, thanks to you. Why didn't I meet you before? How many years have I suffered, living with that moron impotent Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar who lives alone in an abandoned farm in an old chicken coop she said turning off the light and began to undress.

Oh, that's quite another matter -glad switchman, tearing with teeth a packet of condom and they lay on the rickety old pre-war torn sofa.

Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar all screaming and crying, calling people for help. It was so hard and long to shout that in the end he completely lost his voice, like a dumb. By this time, the train began to approach at a furious speed. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar met the train, staring eyes of fear and he did not even have time to scream. Hurdivan Mayus Binti Shipahonnozuk Loppibetdonduk Abu Ishvafa Ibn Iffar was hit by a train and dragged his body and head humpback vile and treacherous sorcerer like the evil Penguin had rolled down, where grew thick tall grass.

17/12/2014.

1:30 PM. the city of Brampton, Canada.

Holder Volcano

Member of the Uzbek Union of Writers

 

Cruel payback

(The story)

- Mehmet, son, you must forgive me if I unwittingly upset you ever. I love you more than anything in the world - said Sultan Sanjar Savash, hugging his son and stroking his head.

Mehmet was surprised to hear the words of his father Sultan Sanjar Savash.

- Father, why are you saying that? It's too early for you to say goodbye. You will live in this world for a long time, and you will rule the country until old age. God grant you good health and a long life. I love you more than life, father! Just like my mother and my brother Ahmed - said Mehmet, hugging his father.

Sultan Sanjar Savas had tears in his eyes, and in order not to show their son, he hugged him even harder and kissed him on the head. His lips trembled, and his eyes involuntarily rolled tears, first in the face, and then his thick beard, like morning dew that showered with leaves of grass, which sways in the wind. That night Sultan Sanjar Savash did not sleep, walked nervously up and down the fiery red carpet. He felt like a predator in a cage, constantly looking out at freedom. He then called his eldest son Prince Valiahd (heir to throne) and Ahmed and they had a long conversation. During the conversation, Sultan Sanjar Sawash intended to tell Prince Ahmed something important, but could not. After the Prince had gone to his room to sleep, Sultan Sanjar Savash wept bitterly, shaking her shoulders and lamenting:

- Oh, God Almighty, you gave me more than I asked! I have become great sultans! But I didn't know that the crown and the throne are so ruthless and would require such a sacrifice! If I had known this before, I would never have become a Sultan! On the contrary, I would hang on his neck a sack beggars and lived life to the poor! Oh, my God, how happy are those poor hungry people of yours who live in slums! I envy them white envy! They are absolutely free and content with a piece of bread. They go where they want. Walk without protection on a footpath on wide fields where winds walk and larks sing, being filled in with a trill, morning stop in the middle of a rye field, where the rye carefree fun flying a swarm of white butterflies in heaven. Then again go where eyes look. Poor, unlike me, can freely roam the summer pastures, waist-deep in tall grass, where thoughtfully fly on the wind a feather in the wind, like a jellyfish in the sea. For hours he could hear the distant knocking of a woodpecker and the sad voice of a lone hoopoe, who sings somewhere over the fields, calling it as a distant childhood. Listen to the murmur of the river, overgrown by white daisies, Angelicas, sweet clovers meadows, can even sleep in the haystacks on the field under the starry sky, admiring silently Siauliai the moon in silence, listening to the monotonous, primeval songs of the crickets and choral croaking of distant frogs, like a whisper. To consider the distant blue star and tired to sleep. Wake up in the pre-dawn hour, when the quail will sing, reminding cough gray guard, who sweeps territory, rhythmically waving a broom. He freezes, looking at the pale sky, where it melts and slowly disappears, the last star and tightly stretching across the horizon torn pale yellow clouds, resembling a spring furrow. Your beggar washes of transparent dew eat Breakfast, than thou, you, will send, and goes on a long journey. The beggar does not even think about the possibility of poisoning: eat your Breakfast, thank you, and again hit the road, by walking along a path overgrown with two side’s high and dense grass. He greets farmers in the fields, nodding his head, with a friendly smile on his lips, stops for a moment, listening to the sad voice of the cuckoo, which comes from a distant poplar grove. The poor have no heavy burden of responsibility. They live easily, throwing off all unnecessary loads. They live happily and easily, in harmony with nature.

How about me? I can't get out of the fortress one step without strong security. Cannot move freely, as an ordinary person, can not only free to walk the fields and meadows, but can't even safely walk the streets of the capital of the Empire. I live with insuperable fear in my heart. Not sleeping at night, for fear, would you raise a riot the angry people, like a Typhoon in the ocean, destroying everything in its path, and with a shudder, I wonder if I will be hung on the highest gallows at the entrance to the Central market of the capital, dropping me from my throne, a people who are not satisfied with my policy. My heart is filled with blood when I start to think about my officials, the sycophants in his entourage that are easy to turn away from me when I fall from the throne of the Sultanate (government), and they will be the first to throw mud at me, praising the new Sultan! They will wag their Asses in front of the new ruler, throwing up his eyebrows and smiling lips, like a Bud of rosy morning rose.

Think, think and not can fall asleep until morning. Even sleeping pills don't help me.

It turns out that being a ruler is not as easy as I thought it would be. I was convinced that being a ruler is like burning in hell in life and boiling alive in a hell of a cauldron. What kind Punishment of, Lord?! Is it life, God, think about it! After all, even a stray dog, and it is happier than me a hundred times! Now, there's another unbearable ordeal waiting for me. Why are you punishing me, God?! What have I done to you?! - cried the Sultan Sanjar Savash.

He cried for a long time. Then he summoned his Prime Minister Vazir Azam. Vazir Azam came, not lingering long. Rather, it led Naukars (security service), in whose hands the feet of Wazir Azam not even touched the ground. He was wearing a long Oriental robe with a white turtleneck on his head. Have him not only the long beard and hair were white, but and eyebrows, too, were such a same color of.

- Called, my Lord, the Sultan of all the sultans of the world? -  asked Wazir Azam , not looking into the eyes of Sultan Sanjar Savash, and with a low bow.

- Yes, Vaziri Azam. You, this, tell me, don't we have another way to solve our problems? - Sultan Sanjar Savash asked, looking to his Minister with hope.

Vaziri Azam paused a second, plunging into meditation, and then said:

- No, my Sultan, unfortunately we have no other choice but... well, you know... If we want our great Empire not to collapse, then we just have to make this decision. Otherwise cannot be. That is a firm decision taken by Kiramaie Ulemas (The meeting of advisers) in closed session. As for Prince Mehmet, he is far inferior to Prince Ahmed in terms of thinking, mind and health. Oh, my Sultan of all sultans of the world! If you knew how hard for me to tell you all about it, Oh how hard! But I have to tell you this because I'm your chief Advisor. I feel sorry... - said Vaziri Azam, sadly bowing his head.

- Damn you all! Get out of here now, you scoundrel! And so you're never caught my eye! - Hysterically cried Sultan Sanjar Savash and hand his reached to the sword.

Vaziri Azam kneeled down and lowered his head in front of Sultan Sanjar Savash bitterly wept, shaking his snow-white beard and bony shoulders.

- Chop my head off, o my Sultan of all sultans of the world! Cut! It is better to die from your sword than to see you in this position! - He cried, dropping tears.

- Get him out now! - shouted the Sultan Sanjar Savash my security and cried, turning away to the side and wiping tears.

The guards took away Vazir Azam.

Early morning brought the executioner of the sentence, beheaded the sleeping young Prince Valiahd Mehmet sharp sword and wiped the white sheets crimson blood from the blade of the sword.

Before to bury Prince Valiahd Mehmet , brought the Princess, so she could say goodbye to his son, on whose death she did not know. Seeing the terrible picture, the Princess fainted.

Sultan Sanjar Savash, hugging his murdered younger son Mehmet, wept, shaking his whole body.

- Forgive me, son, for I have brought you a sacrifice! I'm sorry, because I had no other way! I had to do this just for the sake of not collapsing our Empire in the struggle for the throne between you and your brother in the future. I had to pay so much for preserving the throne. May your soul arrive in the green gardens of eternal Paradise, my beloved son Mehme-e-et! - He cried.

05/04/2014.

1:20 of the day.

Canada, The city of Brampton.

Холдор Вулкан

Член Союза писателей Узбекистана

Жестокая расплата

(рассказ)

- Мехмет, сынок, ты прости меня, если я сам того не замечая огорчил тебя когда-нибудь. Я люблю тебя больше всего на свете - сказал Султан Санджар Саваш, обнимая своего сына и поглаживая его голову.

Мехмет удивился, услышав слова своего отца Султана Санджара Саваш.

- Отец, почему ты так говоришь? Тебе еще слишком рано проститься с нами. Ты еще долго будешь жить на этом свете, и будешь править страной до глубокой старости. Дай Бог тебе крепкого здоровья и долгую жизнь. Я тоже люблю тебя больше жизни, отец! Люблю так же мою маму и моего брата Ахмеда - сказал Мехмет, обнимая отца.

У Султана Санджара Саваш на глазах появились слезы, и, чтобы не показывать их сыну, он еще крепче обнял его и поцеловал в голову. Губы его тряслись, и с его глаз невольно покатились слёзы, сначала по лицу, а потом по густой бороде, словно утренняя роса, которая осыпается с листьев травы, которая колышется на ветру. В ту ночь Султан Санджар Саваш не спал, нервно похаживая туда-сюда по огненно-красному ковру. Он чувствовал себя словно хищник в клетке, который беспрестанно ищет выхода на свободу. Потом он позвал своего старшего сына принца валиахда(наследника трона) Ахмеда, и они долго беседовали. В ходе разговора Султан Санджар Саваш намеревался сказать принцу Ахмеду что-то важное, но не смог. После того, как принц Ахмед ушел к себе спать, Султан Санджар Саваш горько заплакал, тряся плечами и причитая:

- О, Боже всемогущий, ты дал мне больше чем я просил! Я стал великим султанам! Но я не знал, что корона и трон бывают столь безжалостными и потребуют таких жертв! Если бы я знал об этом раньше, то я бы никогда не стал султанам! Наоборот, я повесил бы на свою шею торбу попрошайки и жил бы всю жизнь нищим! О, Боже, как счастливы эти твои нищие голодранцы, которые живут в трущобах! Я завидую им белой завистью! Они абсолютно свободны и довольствуются куском хлеба. Ходят, где хотят, и уходят, куда им вздумается. Шагают без охраны по тропинке на широких полях, где гуляют ветры и поют жаворонки, заливаясь трелью. Останавливаются посреди утреннего ржаного поля, где над рожью беззаботно летят веселым роем белые бабочки как в раю. Потом снова идут, куда глаза глядят. Нищий, в отличие от меня, может совершенно свободно бродить по летним лугам, по пояс в высокой траве, где задумчиво летят на ветерку пушинки одуванчиков, словно медузы в море.Он часами может внимать далекому стуку дятла и печальному голосу одинокого удода, который поет где то за полями, зовя его как далекое детство. Слушать журчанье речки, густо заросшей белыми ромашками, дудниками и донниками лугов. Даже может ночевать в копнах сена на поле под звездным небом, любуясь молча сияюшей луной в тишине, слушая монотонные, первозданные песни сверчков и хоровое кваканье далеких лягушек, похожие на шепот. Считать далекие синие звезды и устало уснуть. Просыпаться в предрассветном часу, когда запоют перепелки, напоминая кашель седого сторожа, который подметает территорию, ритмично махая метлой.Замерает он, глядя на бледнеющий небосвод, где тает и медленно исчезает последняя звезда и туго растягиваясь по горизонту рвутся бледно -желтые тучи, напоминая весннюю борозду.Твой нищий умывается прозрачной росой, завтракает, чем ты, боже, пошлешь, и отправляется в дальнюю дорогу. Нищий даже не думает о возможности отравления: съест свой скудный завтрак, поблагодарит тебя и снова отправится в путь, пешком по тропе заросшей с двух сторон высокой и густой травой. Он здоровается с крестьянами на полях, кивая им головой, с дружелюбной улыбкой на устах. Останавливается на миг, прислушиваясь к печальному голосу кукушки, который доносится из далёкой тополиной рощи. У нищих нет тяжелого груза ответственности. Они живут легко, сбрасывая с плеч все ненужные грузы. Они живут счастливо и легко, в гармонии с природой.

А я? Я ни на шаг не могу выйти из крепости без усиленной охраны. Не могу передвигаться свободно, как простой человек, не могу не только свободно гулять по полям и лугам, но даже не могу спокойно пройтись по улицам столицы своей империи. Живу с непреодолимым страхом в сердце. Не сплю ночами, опасаясь, не поднимет ли бунт разгневанный народ, словно тайфун на побережье океана, разрушающий всё на своем пути. И с содроганием думаю, а не повесит ли меня на самую высокую виселицу у входа на центральный базар столицы, сбросив меня с моего трона, народ, который не доволен моей политикой. Сердце мое заливается кровью, когда я начинаю думать о моих чиновниках-подхалимах в своем окружении,которые легко отвернутся от меня, когда я лишусь трона султаната, и именно они первым будут поливать меня грязью, восхваляя нового султана! Они будут вилять своими задницами перед новым правителем, вскидывая ему брови и улыбаясь губами, похожими на бутон росистой утренной розы.

Думаю, думаю и не могу уснуть до утра. Даже снотворные лекарства мне не помогают.

Оказывается, быть правителем не так легко, как я раньше это себе представлял. Я убедился в том, что быть правителем - это все равно, что гореть в аду при жизни и кипеть заживо в адском котле. За что мне такая кара, Господи?! Разве это жизнь, Боже, подумай Сам! Ведь даже бездомная собака, и та счастливее меня в сто раз! Теперь вот, меня ждет еще одно невыносимое тяжелое испытание. Ну, за что, ты меня караешь, Боже?! Что я тебе сделал плохого?! - плакал Султан Санджар Саваш.

Он долго плакал. Потом вызвал своего премьер-министра вазира аъзама. Вазир аъзам пришел, не задерживаясь долго. Вернее, его привели навкери, в руках которых ноги вазира аъзама не коснулись даже землю. Он был в длинном восточном халате с белой чалмой на голове. У него не только длинная борода и волосы были белоснежными, но и брови тоже были такого же цвета.

- Вызывали, мой Господин, Султан всех султанов мира? - спросил вазир аъзам , не глядя в глаза Султана Санджара Саваш, и низко кланяясь.

- Да, вазири аъзам. Ты, это, скажи мне, неужели у нас нет другого пути, чтобы решать возникшие проблемы? - спросил Султан Санджар Саваш, глядя своему министру с надеждой.

Вазири аъзам на миг умолк, погружаясь в раздумье. Потом сказал:

- Нет, мой султан, к сожалению у нас нет другого выхода, кроме как... ну, Вы сами знаете... Если хотим, чтобы наша великая империя не рухнула, то мы просто вынуждены принять такое решение. Иначе нельзя. То есть это твердое решение принято улемаи кирамом на закрытом заседании. Что касается принца Мехмету, он намного уступает принцу Ахмеду в смысле мышления, ума и здоровья. О, мой султан всех султанов мира! Если бы Вы знали, как мне трудно говорить Вам обо всем этим, ой как трудно! Но я вынужден сказать Вам об этом, так как я являюсь Вашем главным советником. Мне жаль... - сказал вазири аъзам, печально склоняя голову.

-Будьте вы все прокляты! Немедленно убирайся отсюда, негодяй! И чтобы ты больше не попадался мне на глаза! - истерично закричал Султан Санджар Саваш, и рука его потянулась к мечу.

Вазири аъзам стоя на колени и низко опустив свою голову перед Султаном Санджаром Саваш горько заплакал, тряся своей белоснежной бородой и костлявыми плечами.

- Рубите мою голову, о мой султан всех султанов мира! Рубите! Лучше умереть от вашего меча, чем видеть Вас в таком положении! - плакал он, роняя слезы.

- Уведите его немедленно! - заорал Султан Санджар Саваш своей охране и тоже заплакал, отвернувшись в сторону и вытирая слезы.

Охрана увела Вазира аъзама.

Ранним утром палач привел приговора в исполнение, отрубив голову спящему молодому принцу валиахду Мехмету острым исфаханским мечом и стёр белой простынёй алую кровь с лезвия меча.

Перед тем похоронить принца валиахда Мехмета, привели принцессу, чтобы она смогла попрощаться со своим сыном, о смерти которого, она еще не знала. Увидев страшную картину, принцесса упала в обморок.

Султан Санджар Саваш, обнимая своего убитого младшего сына Мехмета, рыдал, трясясь всем своим телом.

- Прости меня, сынок, за то, что я принес тебе в жертву! Прости, ибо у меня не было другого пути! Пришлось так поступить лишь ради того, чтобы не рушилась наша империя в ходе борьбы за трон между тобою и твоим братом в будущем. Мне пришлось так жестоко расплатиться за сохранение престола. Да прибудет твоя душа в зеленых садах вечного Рая, мой любимый сын Мехме-е-ет! - плакал он.



05/04/2014 год.
1:20 дня.
Канада.г.Бремптон.

Holder Volcano

Member of the Uzbek Union of Writers

 

Key

(The story)

When the letter of the Commander of the Air Forces and Land Forces of General Thomas Yakkabaloon and his Deputy, Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons DE Valdemar came to the presidential office, Press Secretary of the President, Mr. Appalon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, deep thought, stares at the envelope not knowing what to do.
There was a scary security team:

- Attention, all employees of the presidential apparatus! Close the door of their offices on the bolt and clear the corridor! Mr. President is coming! - cried the guard in the can mouthpiece. Press Secretary of the President froze as in the photo at attention. Finally in the corridor there was a President surrounded by enhanced protection. After some time the President of the country Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos, Dominic, came over and for a moment paused at the entrance of his gorgeous beloved, a spherical Cabinet. Before entering his office, he gave a cursory glance at the Press Secretary's Desk, where a pile of letters lay.

- Well, what news? What are they, again from the people, or what? Oh, how tired of these bastards anonymity with my eternal complaints. It's like I don't have other things to do than read these stupid letters, where they only write about their problems. There is not one person among them who could write not about his problems, but about the problems, if not the global scale, at least about those that relate to the problems of our state. Come on, give me that big envelope. Here I see something extraordinary. This letter, either from the leaders of other States or from the diplomatic corps of the Commonwealth - said, as if guessing, the President of The country, Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, taking and looking at the envelope with interest. Then smiled widely, looking at the letter's address.

- Oh my, a letter from a mental hospital! - He exclaimed, and laughed, shaking her whole body. - Huwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-haaaah! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-haaaaa! Wahahahahahaha! Look, the letter from the psychiatric hospital?! E-mine... This is the first time I have received such a letter during my 45-year presidency, honestly! I wonder what they write. That's supposed to be funny... - the President of the country, Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, said, wiping tears into his huge checkered leaky headscarf, which turned on his eyes from laughter.
Logging in to his spherical, he unsealed the envelope and began to read the letter from the mental hospital patients, Commander of the Air Forces and Land Forces of General Thomas Yaccabaloon and his Deputy, Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alphonse DE Valdemar.

"President of our beloved country, Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic.

Mr. President!

Although healthy people consider us fools, crazy and other bad words, but we, patients of the Central madhouse of the capital of our independent country, paradoxically, are the most intelligent, the most brilliant people on the planet. We have famous poets, thinkers, philosophers of all stripes, psychics, clairvoyants, foretellers, great scientists, astronauts, valiant invincible generals, telepaths who read other people's thoughts, who declared themselves prophets and even gods, nomads of time, masters of the universe, defenders of humanoids in solar systems and in the nebula of the universe, great Opera singers with the voices of soprano, baritone, tenor. There are among us also disgraced leaders of opposition parties, drunken human rights defenders wearing torn clothes, are not your "colleagues". This raises the question: why should our state not take advantage of the free services of these capable, talented patients in solving problems that have arisen in the political arena of the world? To resolve issues our forces, force patients of our madhouse in area defense. We often hear that hundreds, sometimes thousands, of innocent, mentally healthy young soldiers of our country are being killed in the hot spots of our planet. What if to encourage us, psychopaths, paranoid schizophrenics, and the army are healthy guys, in the spiritual sense of the word? First, we are strong, healthy, brave, brave people. Secondly, we are not afraid of anything, and we have nothing to lose. Thirdly, we will not sit idly, on subsidies, as they say, around the neck of our poor independent state when our innocent young compatriots die in hot spots; - We are not interested, in neither money nor position, no prize, no titles, no medals. Also we don't need an apartment, no family and no other quite unnecessary things. We, i.e. valiant and brave mentally ill Motherland, can protect our territory from any invaders, including an extraterrestrial! And we think that at the front we will have much more fun than here, in a boring medical center, believe me, Mr. President. I never tire of repeating that we are very capable people and, it is only to teach us how to use firearms, how to operate anti-aircraft Missile systems, fighters and bombers and how to steal them, how to fly on military helicopters, "Shark", "Apache", to use nuclear submarines with cruise missiles of Intercontinental ballistic and so on, I can assure You and guarantee that our brethren of the disease will quickly learn that modern military science, no worse than mentally healthy talented students. They will be free to fly advanced supersonic jet bombers like hawks and bomb civilian points in the hot spots of the planet, flattening the beautiful city, the Orthodox and Catholic churches, mosques, synagogues, residential neighborhoods, factories, schools, hospitals, pharmacies, kindergartens in exactly, not leaving any living soul. Be sure that the army of schizophrenics and paranoids, using anti-Aircraft Missile Systems, will shoot down thousands of civilian airlines with hundreds of passengers on Board, getting into the top ten missiles, then in this monstrous crime to accuse the air force and air defense of the enemy!

With great respect,
Commander-in-chief of the Air Force and Ground Forces
General Thomas Yakkabaloon.

Deputy General Thomas Yakkabaloon, Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alphonse de Valdemar."


After reading the letter several times, along and across, the President of the country, Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic pondered, looking at the foggy look, in the armored bulletproof window of his ball-shaped Cabinet, like Hitler in his bunker.
- Yaaaa, here is this letter! Unlike healthy people in the spiritual sense of the word, they did not write about their problems, on the contrary, they write about the urgent problems of our society and the strengthening of the defense capability of our multi-national country. Although this letter from the mental hospital, but still worth thinking about their initiatives. Moreover, they promise to protect the Fatherland for free. If we realize their dreams, then immediately decreases the financial costs of defense, the army, armament, provisions, clothing and boots without soles millions and millions of pairs for our soldiers and officers, which we allocate every year a huge amount of money from the state budget. And these schizophrenics are ready to engage in any part of the world, protecting the interests of our country, without military uniforms, barefoot. They don't have to pay a monthly paycheck. They promise to perform any task of the party, at any time of day, even on 45 degrees cold in the winter and 55 degrees hot in the desert. How much Seeley and the funds will be scan online! Why haven't we thought about this project before? These living robots have nothing to lose. Those suicide bombers are not afraid of death. And these are, so-called, soldiers and officers, at the first danger run up, or, lying in trenches, shoot themselves in their foot and the hero comes back home, ringing bunches of awards and medals on a breast. To be honest, I did not receive such a proposal even from my military specialists, experts who receive a monthly salary in a huge amount in dollars. Parasites! No good from them! I must confess that I used to laugh to tears listening to jokes about the mentally ill. I don't think I laughed then. On the contrary, it was necessary to cry and weep in a huge and holey checkered handkerchief. That's how they reason. Wow, such brilliant people languishing in a madhouse of our large country! And we have these brilliant men supposedly treat! I think people who consider themselves healthy, it's time to go to the doctors to psychiatrists and treated properly as not exacerbated their mental illness. Yes, these people with unstable mentality, people prone to violence are dangerous for society. But if you think about it, I'm a hundred percent sure that we can solve a lot of problems. We will hold their doctors, nurses and caregivers, are fully accountable by summoning them, along with our patients, into the army and sending them to the hot spots of the planet. Today, the world is establishing total control not only over the people and over the Media, over the opposition, but even over the tsunamis, typhoons, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, etc. are we worse than them? We also know how to establish control over patients, through their doctors in white coats, who have cutting - edge equipment, stun guns, soothing drugs, tranquilizers and durable straight shirts with long sleeves. Most importantly, we will automatically get rid of unnecessary pickets and rallies organized by human rights defenders ' screamers, grantees defending the rights of mothers of millions of dead soldiers who return home in sealed zinc coffins from the battlefield, where they die heroically defending the economic and geopolitical interests of our state. Mentally ill and dead on the battlefield, not pathetic, not one, on the contrary, it causes uncontrollable laughter and people will laugh heartily, seeing on TV or hearing about their ridiculous death in bloody battles. In short, I must submit this bill to the Parliament immediately. Let our so-called deputies of both chambers and Senate sycophants, to discuss this strategic issue in closed session without a free press. It is clear that these so-called deputies and senators will never vote against what I propose to them. I don't need to worry too much about it - the President of the country, Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, thought, Smoking a gold tube with diamond ornaments stuffed with expensive flavored tobacco.

The President of the country, Mr. Appollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, before submitting the draft to the Parliament, decided to first meet secretly with the authors of the secret letter and instructed his security forces to organize a secret conversation with the authors of the letter from the loony bin. Security forces clearly and accurately complied with the order of the President, and brought two geniuses in the striped pajamas, barefoot and bareheaded, and having dressed them in costumes of the officials in white shirts with starched collars and ties. They worked so jewelry that even assistants to the President of the country Mr. Appollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, seeing those two patients in civilian clothes, took them for high-ranking guests from abroad. During the conversation it turned out that these two are capable of, not what is there to solve the problems concerning the strengthening of defensibility of the country, but also to create completely unimaginable fantastic things, to come up with unique and unheard of ideas and hypotheses.

President Appalon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, hugged both, and cried.

- Excuse me, gentlemen, and don't be surprised. It is the tears of happiness in my eyes tremble like a distant star in the cold December sky of our independent country, where our people drown their stove with dung. I want to ask your forgiveness, Lord, for our psychiatrists who correctly putting a diagnosis, put you in the psychiatric hospitals of our country, forced to drink the nasty liquid and pills. Tutors beat you like punching bags suspended in underground gyms. Please also apologize for our countrymen who were just cracking up and still laugh at you, telling each other funny jokes about you, laughing!, I today personally was convinced that you, so-called patients with a mental illness, in one thousand, and even millions times is smarter, than our deputies and officials-bribe takers! It turns out, we mistakenly locked genius people not only our country, but our planet in mental hospitals! I will issue a decree tomorrow to release all your brothers out of our independent country's mental hospitals due to illness and to lock the doctors, psychotherapists and caregivers in their place. I will order the authority to arrest all of my assistants, sycophants, poets and writers, officials, and deputies of Ministers takers and parasites. They do not do anything, but receive large salaries in us dollars, and the citizens of our country because of total unemployment go to other countries, hoping to find at least some work there. They agree even on dirty work, in order to find a piece of bread and feed their family. They work as janitors and guards, work in garbage dumps, almost for free. Everything, I will carry out personnel shift in all spheres of our society, that is I will appoint the chief assistants to the both of you, and also I will order that deputies of Parliament of both chambers and senators of the Congress appoint only those people who were earlier treated in mental hospitals of our long-suffering and the desert state. Governors of regions and districts, including chairmen of collective farms and villages, will also be appointed from brilliant people, that is, from your brothers for illness. All governors and presidents of the current system will now be treated for life and forced into psychiatric hospitals until they are fully recovered. Both of you can now accept the post of any Minister, and I congratulate you in advance, gentlemen! - The President said, concluding his speech.

General Thomas Yakkabaloon and Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar, in return, expressed his gratitude to President Appollon Gabriel Toledo, Puerto Carlos Dominic, for the warm welcome, mutual understanding and high trust. Before leaving, Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons DE Valdemar appealed To President Appollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic :

"I have a little surprise for you, Mr. President, close your eyes," he said.

The President closed his eyes with a smile on his lips.

- Now open, Mr. President! Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar spoke.

President Appollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic opened his eyes and saw the key that Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar had given him.

At the sight of the key, the President's heart fluttered, and his eyes widened.

- No, thank you, Mr. Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar! What an honest man you are! Where did you find it? It was in the pocket of my pants!

With these words, President Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic quickly checked the pockets of his trousers and blushed in shame, finding a hole in his Trouser pocket where the key to the carpet might have fallen.

- I found this key here, under this chair, where I was sitting. I think, I will select it and I will give to Mister the President of our country Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, maybe, I think, the President incidentally lost the key of the modest Studio apartment located on the suburb of the capital of the country where he lives with the big family plus with mother in law - the Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar - explained.

- Oh, no, no, Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar! It's not the key to a one-room apartment; it's the key to a nuclear suitcase! You have no idea what heroism you have committed before my eyes in the face of our long-suffering people! You saved the nation! Well, this key does not fall into the hands of my insane Ministers, which I have long not trusted. After all, these parasites corrupt, could easily sell terrorists this priceless key for a pack of green bills! And there would be a third world nuclear war! Not, in my opinion you saved not only the nation, but all mankind from the apparent death, from the third nuclear war! I was awarded the Order of Hero of the Fatherland of the first degree! You are now the national hero of our country! With today's military title not Colonel, and Marshal! Thank you on behalf of our oppressed people and on behalf of all mankind, Mr. Marshal Pascal Salvatore Alfons DE Valdemar! - The President said with delight.

- Serving the Fatherland! - Cried Pascal Salvatore Alphonse de Valdemar, saluting President Appalon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic. When both officers of high rank came from the Palace of the President of Appalon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, General Thomas Yakkabaloon congratulated with a high military rank of his colleague and brother due to illness.

- I congratulate you, Mr. Marshal, with high status as! - He said, proudly and greening with envy.

- At ease, General, at ease! Thank you for the congratulations - said the Marshal, Pascal Salvatore Alphonse de Valdemar, slapping on the shoulder and the head of General Thomas Yakkabaloon.

General Thomas Yakkabaloon continued:

- Excuse me, Mr. Marshal, on one hand; to achieve such success is good. But on the other hand, I'm afraid you and I have missed a historic opportunity. If we could hold the key to a nuclear suitcase, we could force the President to dissolve the Government and Parliament and to step down as President. After all this, you would sleep well tonight, and Wake up in the morning the President of the country! Eh, what a chance missed, my God! - Said General Thomas Yakkabaloon.

- Yeah, don't you worry, General rag shoulder straps, I'm not such a fool as you think! When I went to the bathroom, I took off the key of the nuclear suitcase, pushing it on this piece of soap. Now for this mold, we can make a duplicate key nuclear suitcase. As they say, not yet evening. There is still time for me to become the President of the country, and to you - the Minister of Defense! The weight of the world is in our hands! - said Marshal Pascal Salvatore Alfons DE Valdemar with insidious and cunning smirk on his lips.

28 /08/2014.

3:40 of the day.

Canada. The city of Brampton.